Turn left turn right

Love at First Sight

Wislawa Szymborska 

Both are convinced that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together. Beautiful is such a certainty, but uncertainty is more beautiful. Because they didn't know each other earlier, they suppose that nothing was happening between them. What of the streets, stairways and corridors where they could have passed each other long ago? I'd like to ask them whether they remember-- perhaps in a revolving door ever being face to face? an "excuse me" in a crowd or a voice "wrong number" in the receiver. But I know their answer: no, they don't remember. They'd be greatly astonished to learn that for a long time chance had been playing with them. Not yet wholly ready to transform into fate for them it approached them, then backed off, stood in their way and, suppressing a giggle, jumped to the side

There were signs, signals: but what of it if they were illegible. Perhaps three years ago, or last Tuesday did a certain leaflet fly from shoulder to shoulder? There was something lost and picked up. Who knows but what it was a ball in the bushes of childhood. There were doorknobs and bells on which earlier touch piled on touch. Bags beside each other in the luggage room. Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night, suddenly erased after waking. Every beginning is but a continuation, and the book of events is never more than half open. -translated by Walter Whipple

I encountered this poem form the movie Turn Left turn Right. I just can't help but love it, every words are like bullets penetrating my innermost emotion. It surely captures the essence of what is really Love at first sight. That it's not only about the superficial attraction nor an ephemeral emotion. When I read it, I was like being bewitched by the magic of love, touching my torn and worn out heart to be renewed just as the first time I felt the surge of love, melting the cold barriers build up by disappointments, failures and heartaches, allowing hope to drown the rooted bitterness in my heart. I was never a believer of Love at first sight but now after reading the poem, my perception of the said matter was blown away and I am left dumbfounded.

septième jour

The seventh morning of the nine mornings.I realized that each day as I encounter and experienced life, I'm slowly losing the luster and brightness of my eyes ( metamorphically speaking ).I'm slowly losing grip of my thoughts, of my being. I'm slowly losing control of my own self ( it's not like I'm on drugs.*TROLOLOL!!*).

It's like I'm growing, I'm becoming the person I'm supposed to be, without my knowing nor my consent, like I was already patterned on who and what I am to become. Maybe this is the reason why lately I've been experiencing sadness out of nowhere. But now I understand why I am feeling in this way: I am scared because I know that I do not have hold of my life, I do not have control of who and what will I be. I'm am terrified that those dreams I have, those plans I've made are just futile. I am mad that I may distaste the mission I am bound to follow and fulfill , that  I may no longer pursue may personal legend 

( as what Paulo Coelho called it).

I am afraid of the future though before I was so fond of it, fond of it to that point of living for it instead of living in the moment. I totally treasure my future, it's the only thing that provides me joy when I'm sad but now that the universe slowly, slowly shows me that  the future I longed for would be impossible, it's not that I'm way too pessimist, but these days I was bombarded with signs, showing me that I don not have control of

the things in my life and in myself. Like I am meant for something and not for my passion.

I am so scared now, I cannot stop myself thinking: would it be worth and acceptable to defy such fate and follow my personal legend, my personal will, or to accept and follow the fate that is in store for me?.

Which is which? 

 Eeeek!!! sorry if I sound too serious and creepy there, just the repercussions of thinking too much ^__^.

So this dress was a thrift find and would you believe it that it only cost 10php albeit the fabric is as good as new. However, it cost me too much for the resizing, since when I bought it, the size was large and it's way too unbecoming for me to wear it as it is. I love the Ribbon detail of the dress, it gives a school-girl vibe to the whole look .

sixième jour

The sixth day of the nine mornings.I've been trying to learn singing ROSAS PANDAN. I admit I'm a terrible singer, I sing all the notes flatly, my voice is just simply a noise. But still I'd like to learn it since it's a song sang by my folks. It's not that i'm obliged but there is this urge for me to sing it with pride ( wow!! I rhymed XD)

Lately as I've posted earlier, I've been feeling anew and being a patriotic is one of those changes in me.

So I hope I'll be able to master this magestic song ( yeah , really no biased :D).

ROSAS PANDAN
Bisaya

Ani-a si Rosas Pandan
Gikan pa intawon sa kabukiran
Kaninyo'y makiguban-uban
Ning gisaulog ninyong kalingawan
Balitaw da'y akong puhunan maoy kabilin sa akong ginikanan
Awit nga labing karaan nga garbo sa atong kabukiran
Tikading tikading tikading
Ay-ay sa 'tong balitaw
Maanindot pa mo sayaw
Daw yamog ang kabugnaw
Tikading tikading tikading
Intawon usab si Dodong
Nagtan-aw kang Inday
Nagtabisay ang laway

Pray for me that I would be able to give justice in singing this song XD

So the lace dress and the black overcoat are another thrift finds, that only cost 50php each. An awesome bargain I had :D. I just let the lace dress loose freely cuz' I wanted to have an insouciant vibe of this look. Wearing a belt would add bulk to my wasitline, which is so unbecoming for me since it's already bulky in my tummy area ( the results of too-much-eating). Eeeek!!!

I really wanted to post an upclose shot for the details of the lace dress but I was too silly to forget taking a shot of it.

To add a statement to this look, I layered the 2 trinkets,  the smaller was a vintage, it was actually from my grandmother, she owns it while she was still unmarried, uhm.. in my calculation this bauble is about 60 years old. GOSH!!!

 ( my priceless treasure XD) and the longer one was a self bought graduation gift :D ( I rewarded myself from all the sleepless nights I've endured during my college years, not bad for a gift though from a penniless girl ^__^ )

cinquième jour

The fifth day of the nine mornings. Lately I've been addicted to listening to old songs, songs from the 1920's or 1930's.

I'm so fascinated by their soulful voices, listening to their songs is like immersing myself to their era. Singers such as 

Marion Harrison, Louise Brooke, Rina Kitty, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong and the Mesdames Francais

Frehel and Edith Piaf. They are my song inspiration for the moment. WEEEW!!!! It feels like I'm a whole new person right now, everything I like before just fades into a mere a memory now. I no longer enjoy the stuff I badly adore before. It's like I had an amnesia. I just woke up one day and viola!! I'm no longer myself.

But I kindda like what's happening right now, it's making my life a lot interesting XD 

Reinventing myself for beyond awesomeness ^_____^. 

how'd ya like it? :P

this red dress was a gift from my mom a year ago. At first I was actually not liking this dress since I don't like the style but later when I tried fitting onto it,I realized that it was okay, the color of the dress is 

quite becoming though :D

This is actually a very simple look I didn't Excessorize much because the dress is already striking due to its color, a hue of red colors undulating when the dress is swaying, so I just wore a not-so-catchy earrings for the finishing touch :D

Quatrième jour

The fourth day of the nine mornings, the day where I saw my girl crush in the church, not only that, but I sat in blithe beside her.Eeeek!!! Imagine!!!, for all those years that I've been liking her, I was given this great opportunity though even if it's just for an hour 

( it was only then I was hoping that Holy Mass would end up long ) to be so close to her, I mean an inch close to her. Contrary to the ecstatic feeling brought by her close proximity to my being, I was also very jittery, so self- conscious and above all I was so confused on what to do or better say "what should I supposed to do." 

Though I forgot to mention that she's not alone, she was with her girlfriend. But I don't care, really.

I was just so glad at the thought of holding her hands, feeling her soft palms to mine,

was just enough for me.

( we hold hands during singing the Our Father song).

the whole experience was like an early Christmas present for me :D

Thank you Santa, I mean Lord :D

 So much about my romantic experience.Eeek!!!! HAHAHA!!!

 I bought this floral dress for only 35php, it actually cost 75php but I manged to find ways for cheaper price. 

viola!!!

There was a big hole at the right area of the dress ( the reason why it became 35php from 75php ) but it's actually manageable by hand sewing so it's a no big deal for me.

I was really happy to have this dress since lately I've been lusting for floral dresses and finding the right one was a no easy task. I've got to roam around the whole town's stores but ending so defeated with nothing on my hand. Luckily thrift stores existed, a haven for those who are afraid to commit unlawful wearing-a- mass production-clothes, I mean those clothes you can see anywhere, in every stores, on anyone you would bump on the street , on parties, on church as I've said ANYWHERE.

 The vintage locket I recently purchased from online, my first online buy :)

Lately I've been eyeing vintage trinkets, I just can't help but fell in love to their cuteness and classiness.

I hope I'll receive such this Christmas* fingers crossed* :D

troisième Jour

 The third day of the nine mornings, you might actually think I look so overrated with this whole look in just by going to the church, well I didn't actually wore the big bow and the petticoat since wearing those would surely be a headturner ( I surmised in a negative way, as if like I'm carrying a banner saying-look-at-me* definitely so absurd*, I think I would die first before doing that) and I actually hate catching  people's attention, as you may know it, I'm a self proclaimed social awkward. Yes, indeed. I tend to be so uncomfy  with people surrounding me. Idon't know what to do nor what to say. I simply suck when it comes to socializing.  

A skill or I guess a gift I totally lack myself.

This dress is a thrift find, it only cost 10php, it was actually so dirty when I picked it up form a pile of dirty, foul smelling thrift clothes ( just a quirky habit of me to enjoy finding treasures from a pile of rancid trash) 

the prints captured my eyes, and I was a bit amused that its size is just perfect for my build, like there's a no need to throw another cash for some repair/resizing.

The petticoat was self made. I was so lucky that my friend gave me the textile. She thought I might find something to do with it and I just  proved her right.:) I forgot to mention that my sewing skill, I mean hand sewing is not that good ( I'm ashamed to admit that until now I still don't know how to use a sewing machine, though I badly really wanted to learn ) 

if you'll only see the how the petticoat was sewn, it is a total hugger-mugger, such a not so good to look at.

I really hope that one day my sewing skill will be as good so that I can sew more clothes.

 This is actually not a hair bow, it's actually a bow tie I bought from a local dept store in our town.

I really wanted to buy a different color aside from this one but it was too expensive for me to buy another

( I mean FOR ME, since I'm as poor as a rat. I'm still dependent from my parents, yeah it sucks.) 

I hope someday I'll be able to buy a dozen of this bow..

someday ^_______________^